and I already have far too many ideas and I am NOT in a position to focus on any of them as much as I want right now, but I'm gonna write this one down here just because
gonna try to fit it into the space where it cuts away from them at the energy pool for a sec to show the tank hunting them. Right after Ram's "we have scored" line
(in canon that cut is before we actually see Ram hand Flynn his disc... but I'm gonna take some liberties and imagine that a fairly long time passed during that cut, with Ram and Flynn sharing the disc back and forth a while)
so Ram has been delicately sipping from his disc up to now, keeping the pleasure at manageable levels... but he sees Flynn doing a terrible job of trying to scoop up energy with his hands, and cmon he's Ram, he can't not offer to help
so he hands Flynn the disc, figuring that this guy must know the etiquette of how to treat it under these circumstances
... and Flynn just goes to town on it. Mouth all over it, scooping up energy almost faster than he can drink it, slurping at it like mad, and Ram is...
Ram lies there a while with NO idea what to do, he knows he got himself into this by offering his disc to a guy he barely knows, but oh he did NOT expect so much so fast and he's all purple almost instantly
and Tron's watching all amused, and Flynn has no idea lol....
but before Ram can get off from this, Flynn's fucking around turns into finding out and he learns the thing about how you can drink enough energy to overload just from the charge itself--
aaaand Flynn is out cold, deep reboot
leaving Tron and Ram needing to resolve the issue themselves
cue as much hot energy pool Tron/Ram circuit porn as I wanna write
and they get each other to overload and reboot pretty fast, and eventually all three of them come back online...
(Flynn confused and embarrassed and not really knowing how to talk about whatever the hell just happened lol)
...but having overloaded, their energy levels are down a bit, so they have to top it off again.
and
and if we assume all this happens during the cut, this is where the scene picks up again onscreen:
Ram is back to sipping out of his disc. Flynn is back to clumsily scooping up energy with his hands... and Ram, incorrigible Ram... he hands Flynn his disc again
and Flynn, incorrigible Flynn... he accepts it again
and Tron is watching this going.... seriously????
maybe it's good luck that Alan just at that moment happens to Call him.
Or maybe Alan's been steadily Calling him this whole-ass time, and Tron just now decided, enough is fkin' ENOUGH
(Ram's POV)
"My friends. My fellow conscripts."
His mouth tingles around his smile-- from the buzz of the energy; from the touch of his own disc that he sipped it from.
"We have scored. I feel so much better."
He does. Oh, he feels so good, it's hard to think at all-- harder to remember if he's ever felt this good before.
It's been so many microcycles of neglect. Those tiny, claustrophobic pit-cells. Energy rations barely enough to stave off deresolution. Ceaseless battles that left nowhere near enough time to rest. Cell walls that closed off from each other most of the time, the transparent barrier taunting him with the sight of a cellmate he couldn't touch.
Living for the hope of those rare times in between rearrangements, when security was lax and the barriers turned off for part of the upcycle before curfew-- sometimes just long enough for him and Tron, or him and some other frightened and lonely conscript, to steal a short respite and take comfort in each other.
It was never enough, never enough of anything Ram needed and wanted. And now... He laughs in utter joy, lifting the disc to his mouth again to drink.
[Ram hands Flynn his disc, Flynn drinks, too much]
(Flynn's POV)
And then it hits him, as that last mouthful of sweet energy tips his power levels past some threshold and-- he becomes suddenly, overwhelmingly aware just what the sensation reminds him of.
The disc slides out of his hands and skids across the databank's smooth surface, halfway back toward its owner, who reacts with a flinch and a low moan. But Flynn barely notices-- the power's building to a surge inside him, and he writhes on the ground, back arching, hands gliding and then raking hard over his own circuit lines-- every light flickering in a deeper and deeper blue accelerating down the color spectrum toward purple.
"Oh god oh god oh fuck--" His legs stretch as a low groan rips from his throat, every muscle clenching in a sudden unbearable surge of pleasure.
Oh god, he's never gotten this close this fast before-- fuck fuck fuck, he's about to cum in his pants and he doesn't even know how to take them off-- do they even come off? Are they even pants? Does he even have a dick under there? ...He's sure as hell got something, that bulge between his legs is absolutely on fire with sensitivity, about to explode and yet-- oh fuck oh yes--
He arches and trembles through another heavy wave of tingling pleasure and a hot burst of wet that definitely feels like pre-cum-- except instead of lingering and cooling, the sensation just dissipates, gone--
In the shock of it he's unprepared for the next wave of stimulation and the second wet rush of pre... spreading warm, tingling, vanishing just the same. Fuck, if that's what it feels like here, he could get used to this--
But oh, oh, he is not used to this. Not used to this pressure and heat, still building and building as he shudders and flickers all over, the edges of his render breaking up into pixelation, what the fuck even-- oh, it's definitely the buildup to an orgasm, feels the same, but-- but not the same, better, so so so much better--
...because it's not just there between his legs. It's shooting all through him, his whole skin. Jolting electrically up and down every circuit, fizzing in hot tickly static on every surface, arcing and sparking around the hypersensitive disc-dock where it connects to his upper spine, his entire body flashing with pleasure and... oh... he can't, he can't hold it back--
[Flynn overloads, Ram is left all needy and purple]
(Ram's POV)
"I can't believe he did that to you!" Tron is laughing at him, glitch it -- and Ram tries to scowl, but right now he can only respond to the sight and sound of Tron with hot desperation.
Tron's voice, even chuckling, is a velvet purr of pleasure. "Can't believe it. His mouth all over your disc, getting you like that--" Eyes smolder as they sweep down Ram's achingly purple light lines. "And then he just drank himself into overload and left you pending. Ha! Oh, Ram, that's..." But Tron's circuits betray the urge underneath his fit of laughter, flashing pink in rhythm with the sound of it, and Ram can't stand it anymore.
"I'm glad you find this so very funny," he groans. "Gonna do anything about it? Or--"
"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe I should leave you to debug your own errors. Might have more fun just watching you finish what he started." Tron sits up, dipping both his legs into the pool, and Ram whimpers at the lavender color that climbs Tron's circuits from there. So much security-program self-control... ignoring what he must be feeling, his eyes still fixed on Ram, until they slide off to the side for just a moment. "Your disc's right there. Shouldn't take much, I'd guess. You'd look beautiful with your face in there, licking your own disc-lines, all desperate."
The thought sends a jet of heat through every circuit. Ram's own eyes flash over toward his disc for a picocycle, and he seriously thinks about it--
--but it isn't what he wants, what he needs. Tron knows that--
"Please," Ram growls, hips pushing forward, thighs wide. "I admit it, okay. I got myself into this, handing my disc to a stranger. My fault for trusting. But--"
"Your only fault." And now Tron's sliding into the energy spring, up to his waist, feet touching the bottom, circuits brightening and purpling as he makes his way slowly between the shores. "Only mistake you ever make, Ram. Too trusting, too kind. Always."
Ram moans and pushes himself up closer to a sitting position, on the edge of the bank, legs still drawn up and wide open, feet tensing at the very rim as they try not to slip into the pool. "Can't help it. Can't not help, I mean. Helping others with their needs. It's what I do."
"I know. And you enjoy it, too, don't you."
"Every time. But --"
"But that 'great feeling' it gives you isn't always enough, is it. Sometimes you've got needs of your own-- needs that won't be satisfied with just anybody."
"Y-yes. Yes. S-sometimes, Tron... Sometimes it has to be you. There's no one else like you--"
"And don't you forget it. Little shareware."
"Repressed firewall," Ram groans. "You sure you don't wanna deny yourself some more? Save it up for your User?"
"Maybe I should, just for that." Tron's eyes narrow, and he pauses, halfway across-- just long enough that Ram starts to vibrate with panic. "But I won't. We're at a pure source. Won't matter how much I release here. I could overload a hundred times and still leave all charged up, with plenty stored to power my transmission by the time I reach the I/O Tower. I can start thinking about self-control after we leave this place."
And in a few long strides Tron is suddenly right there, up against the bank almost between Ram's legs, and he leans in close. "I'm not going to do it a hundred times. But you... You are going to need more than once."
[CIRCUIT SEX CIRCUIT SEX CIRCUIT SEX more CIRCUIT SEX]
Tron's voice almost breaks as he sobs out the name, harmonizing agony and pleasure.
"Alan-1."
Even as he begins to pixelate into energy-glow, eyes clenched shut and throat spasming around gasps, Ram still can't repress the warm rush, the affectionate smile that blossoms from that. Calling upon the Users in vain, in moments of ecstasy beyond control-- it's something Tron rarely slips up and does, and he certainly reprimands Ram for it-- Ram's biting back the urge to swear by RKleinberg_7 even now, with every shuddering breath, for Tron's sake-- but even the pious Tron isn't immune to that vice, and Ram catches himself biting back giddy laughter at the same time.
Then again-- the laugh catches in his throat-- then again, maybe it's not quite that.
Tron's voice... the pain in that crack of longing... it might be more along the lines of those moments when Yori's name finds its way into those groans of release.
Which is another sort of slip-up that Ram can't really fault him for. Tron belonged to Yori... and, for that matter, to Alan-1... long before he and Ram were whatever they now are.
Which Ram has never begrudged him.
Only wished, hoped-- yearned-- that someday he'll belong there too.
It's natural, to pair up into software suites of three or four or more. Lovers and friends and counterparts all sharing in pleasure, the connections interflowing harmoniously with the central connection to one's User. And yes, they're all different kinds of love, User and friend and counterpart... but in terms of the sorts of pleasure you can find with them, it's not all that different at the core of it.
And not uncommon for a program feeling that pleasure to cry out names almost interchangeably... because, at the core of it, a paired suite almost does share one soul.
Not that Ram's soul could ever be interchangeable with the soul of Tron's User, of course. But the most compatibly-paired programs can strive together in the name of their Users' will, almost as if they were all one with it. And Ram can believe he and Tron have that kind of connection, at least sometimes. At least in moments like this.
Because when he sees that longing in Tron, that desperation to reach the Tower, his User, his purpose-- Ram knows he'll do anything, absolutely anything at all, to help get Tron there.
And, as the energy rush of overload crests through Tron and into Ram, burning them both away into sparkling glow, Ram groans and arches and pours all of that thought into Tron's mind-- his last thought before sensory oblivion, a promise forged from every line of his code and every voxel of his render, his whole self, leaving nothing behind.
They rerezz slowly, the soft feelings of afterglow taking time to resolve into thought again. Their forms materialize face to face, lying close in each other's arms.
And Tron is quiet, even when Ram can sense the presence of thoughts forming, thick and fast, behind his shell.
He stays quiet, too quiet, too long...
Finally Ram nuzzles him. "You okay?"
Tron's eyes don't even flicker; his answer's a monotone. "Just processing alerts."
Translation: worrying, so bad he's having trouble coping with it.
"I know there's still a lot ahead of us," Ram begins, softly.
"A lot," Tron agrees. "Risks. Dangers. Things that could happen to you... me... us. I don't..." and his voice cracks a little, fails at maintaining the monotone. "I don't want to lose you. To lose each other. You... you know how I... what you mean to me, how I feel--"
Oh yeah. Ram knows. Knows how Tron struggles, just to say that much. The feeling is complex. And when it comes to putting things into words, Tron isn't a complex sort of program.
"I know." Ram squeezes his hand-- prepared, mostly, for how hard Tron squeezes back. "Oh, Tron, I do know. And you know I... I love you too." It rushes out of his mouth, as if the words are scared they'll be held back if he hesitates. "Lots. More than..." and then his own voice breaks. "More than I'll ever be much good at putting into words, either. But it's... it's okay, Tron. It's enough. Whatever we have with each other, it's... I mean, it's got to be enough, right? 'Cause it's already-- so much more than I ever thought I could have."
And it's true, it is. Calculations, predictions, they've all failed him when planning out his own future. He never could have dreamt of this, of Tron, of what they could be together. It's exceeded anything he ever estimated.
And it makes him call himself greedy, ungrateful-- how much it still doesn't feel like enough. How badly he wants it to keep on going. Beyond any reasonable estimate of probability. Forever.
The hand that's holding Tron's keeps holding on tight. The other one moves to cup Tron's cheek, turning his face gently until their eyes meet, til a pulse of longing reverberates between.
Ram flinches; it nearly hurts. The softness of that face, the brightness of Tron's eyes, the tremble of his lips that draws and holds Ram's gaze for too long-- like there's something else he'd really, really like to do to Tron, some way he wants to touch him that he hasn't gotten to yet. Even though he's sure they've touched each other in every way possible, all the way down to the most intimate data-transfer of thoughts and memories.
Yes. It does hurt. It's not enough. What he's gotten to do, what he's gotten to have... it hasn't been enough. He wants more-- much more than he's likely to get. It isn't fair.
He forces a smile, and the only words he can think of-- even though they're just Tron's words from earlier, repeated back.
"Hey. We've made it this far."
[FLYNN POV]
Flynn takes longer to reboot.
He comes back to life more disoriented than ever-- like after taking a midday nap, the unrealness of this world feeling even more unreal.
Yeah, this has still got to be a dream.
Fuck. THAT kind of dream.
There's a sluggish relaxation in his limbs, like after an intense climax. Which is absolutely what that was-- no question. Better than any he's ever had before. Even if he still feels completely clean and dry, like all the cum and sweat must have just evaporated into that magical energy glow (what does that even mean in terms of his real-life body, anyway, if he is still asleep? What the fuck. He'll think about that later. If he has to.)
He crawls back to the shore, shaky. Ram's there, on his stomach, still dipping his disc in the pool.
Flynn tries to make sense of the hazy memory of what happened before that sudden orgasm... but gives up, shaking his head. All he remembers is he and Ram were drinking this energy-water stuff...
Flynn watches Ram drink-- Ram's sipping cautiously from his disc, almost like it's somehow ...tender, or sore... which doesn't even make sense, does it? But he just gives Flynn an amiable smile when their eyes meet, as if everything's normal, more or less.
These programs aren't exactly like people, and Flynn's still not sure how to read them (and if they're projections inside his dreaming head, that makes either more sense or less, he's not sure which.) But whatever's happening, at least Ram doesn't seem skeeved out by how Flynn just went into spasms and came hard enough to pass out, in the middle of what just seems to be a program-style lunchtime.
So either Ram didn't understand what happened... or it's within the realm of stuff that regularly happens here... or else dream-logic still prevails, and Ram's just acting however Flynn wants him to.
Flynn shakes his head. At this point, he's... well, he's just gonna go with it and see what happens next. What else can he do?
He's feeling ...something, again, like what he felt just before they got here. Something between tired and hungry and thirsty all in one sensation, which he guesses kind of makes sense, considering how the liquid energy seems to have satisfied it that first time around.
Maybe drinking too much made it... overflow, ran his power levels down again somehow? He carefully dips a hand into the liquid, bringing a small amount back to his mouth. Ohh yeah, it feels like he needs that. Just as good now-- just as restoring and refreshing.
Better, more vivid, than tastes or sensations ever usually are for him in dreams... okay, that is something to consider.
He sips slowly, trying to hold himself back from doing whatever he did before. But Ram notices, again, the clumsiness of Flynn feeding himself the energy-water with his hands, and...
Their eyes meet as Ram, once more, passes him the disc.
It's a knowing, anticipating look.
Flynn gulps, his current mouthful almost going down wrong... but he takes the offer, nodding and murmuring a choked "thank you."
The disc feels warm, heavy, almost alive in his fingers. Ram's smile is like something from fairyland, an otherworldly mischief.
Flynn handles the disc with more care this time, dipping it slowly, sipping gently, watching Ram for any response...
Suddenly, Tron sits up-- the motion fast and sharp in Flynn's peripheral vision, drawing his eyes onto the compelling energy of that face and figure so much like Alan's, so intense, so serious.
"I feel it." Tron's voice carries conviction.
"Feel what?"
"You okay?"
"Alan-1." Tron's circuits brighten all over, a blaze of ice-blue. "Let's move out!"
Just before Tron leaps up and runs off toward his lightcycle, Flynn could swear he gives Ram a... look. A look that, if it reminds Flynn of anything...
...well. There were some times, back when he and Lora were dating, when he maybe got a little too raunchy in public... or a little too insatiable in private... and Lora would just glare at him, tired affection and fearless command fused into one single perfect expression like...
Well. Like that.
And Ram... Ram returns that look with the same half-quiescent, half-challenging, and all-playful eyes that Flynn's pretty sure he used to give Lora, back then. Watches Tron's retreating backside for a second... then grabs his disc and scoops up a few more quick mouthfuls, circuits pulsing bright.
Flynn follows his lead, drinking as much as he can without the help of the disc-- eventually just sticking his face down into the pool. He feels his energy rising, tiredness receding.
Knowing now, though, that they've got to get up soon and follow Tron. He's not going to have any more fun. That's over, and... and now he just has to build up enough strength to handle whatever comes next.
Ram accepts it first, though.
Flynn, still slurping at the pool's surface, sees Ram finally get to his feet, shaking droplets from the edge of his disc, muttering, "C'mon, Flynn, put a cork in it." There's an irritation there, almost a bitterness, like one final joy cut off too soon.
And Flynn, with a sharp sort of finality, gets the sense that... well, that all three of them know this is the moment something good just ended.
Note:
Ending doesn't have to be as sad as it seems. Can be read in the continuity of the rest of my Ram/Tron stories, in which the thing that happened to Ram in the Recognizer after this was... not what it seemed to be.