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Fanworks: Tron: Fics: Kernel Panic


XXX in bright red-orange text. EXPLICIT MATERIAL.


Kernel Panic

(Written in the settings/headcanons of my I/O Towerverse)

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*** UNFINISHED ***



Planned outline:


Roy and Alan are overcome with horniness and start groping each other under the table at an Encom meeting.

Popping mechanism: Each kernel of popcorn contains moisture and oil. Unlike most other grains, the outer hull of the popcorn kernel is strong and impervious to moisture, and the starch inside consists almost entirely of a hard type. As the oil and water in the kernel are heated, they turn into steam. Under these conditions, the starch inside the kernel gelatinizes and softens. The steam pressure increases until the breaking point of the hull is reached; a pressure of approximately 930 kPa (135 psi) and a temperature of 180 C (356 F). The hull ruptures, causing a sudden drop in pressure inside the kernel and a corresponding rapid expansion of the steam, which expands the starch and proteins of the endosperm into airy foam. As the foam rapidly cools, the starch and protein polymers set into the familiar crispy puff.


"He's better than Dillinger."


"Low bar, but granted." Alan sighed. "If he could just get a better idea of scheduling... Do these meetings always have to happen when I've got an important process running at my desk?"


"Ha. You too? ...Yours is the TRON program, though, right?"


"Yes. Doing its regular scan of the system to check for anything unexpected going in or out. Which Kevin knows I run every day at... ah well. At least the thing works well enough that it'll probably be fine, even if I'm not there supervising it this time. You said you're running something too?"


Roy laughed. "Something to keep your TRON program busy, I guess. I mean, not exactly a new thing coming in-- it was there before-- but I'm recompiling, and that'll probably show up as unscheduled activity. Sorry if your program gets confused."


"TRON can handle it. Another of your insurance scripts?"


"One I was surprised to see again. Apparently the MCP hit some of our clients, including a few insurance providers that commission software from me... It tried to destroy this one after it stole it, but the code was still recoverable. I checked with the client, they've still got their own backups and don't need this one restored, so I figured I'd upgrade it a little and see if we can't find a use for it in our own benefits department."


"Hmm, maybe we can. Which program was this, again?"


"The one from last October. RAM... remember? Think I asked you for some advice, back in the debugging phase..."


"Oh yes. Always wondered about the name. What does an insurance program have to do with random access memory, anyway?"


"It's an actuarial program. Calculator for probabilities, the sort that's used for setting premiums and payouts. The name stands for Risk Assessment Mathematics... well, officially, anyway."


"Officially?... Roy. Did you secretly name it after something else? Is it something dirty?"


The sequence of reactions on Roy's too-familiar face, genuine shock followed by laughter and then a sudden little blush of embarrassment, told Alan the real answer. "Oh no. Not the Los Angeles Rams. You swore up and down you're not really a football fan, you only go to game night sometimes, just for the snacks--"


"And that one night when the Rams were playing, they had really good popcorn, okay? I mean really good, just the perfect touch of sweet, this amazing point right between kettle corn and caramel--"


Alan couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. "Should have known. Football fan just for the popcorn..."


"Popcorn fan, tolerating the football. Hah! Just imagine it though, if our programs were in there wearing little helmets and shoulder pads, throwing--"


This time they both cracked up; it took a while for the wave of laughter to die down. "You're really something, Roy."



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Fanworks: Tron: Fics: Kernel Panic


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