Look, if you’re starving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and suddenly someone is like ‘oh I have tons of food and it just happens to be meat do you want some lol’ you CANNOT act surprised when it’s people. You simply CANNOT.
There are times and places where it is realistic to expect NOT to be served people. For example, in a pie shop underneath a barber shop. THEN you can be all 'OH GOD IT’S PEOPLE.’
If you are in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and are suddenly served a really good meat pie, you have to know it’s people. Do you see any cows? No, they all apocalypsed. It’s your neighbor.
If you’re served food in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, ask yourself these questions first:
- Do I trust the person feeding me?
- Is this meat fresh, and if so, have there been any livestock non-apocalypsed recently?
- Have I seen Kevin within the past week?
- Am I willing to commit the penultimate culinary taboo? (The ultimate culinary taboo is putting pineapple on pizza, a crime I regularly commit)
5. how much did i even like kevin, really
I only know of 2 Kevins and one of them is the kid in Home Alone (who is far too advanced in his self defense skills to ever be caught for pizza topping) and the other is doing his zen thing after he basically CAUSED us all to be living in an apocalyptic wasteland and hey, if you find him, kevin cubes probably taste the same as anything else on this User-forsaken grid