ALTALT…
“….no. I know what you’re thinking, and no.”
“Alan–”
“it’s a lowercase letter i, not the number 1. shut UP”
“it CAN be a 1, if you’re doing roman numeral bullet points–”
“–which i am NOT”
“…it’s an ENERGY DRINK. and it’s BLUE”
“it is sugar-free. you get zero actual energy from it. all you get is a power-draining process that makes you feel like you have energy for a while, and then you f'ing crash”
“maybe i wanna crash. maybe it’d be fun”
“then do that. right now. at least you’d shut up for a while then”