genfagloser:

im making this its own post actually

found family is “i have endured the fucking horrors with these guys. i would both kill and die for them. i would rip my own bones out to make splints to heal theirs. there is no name for the bond we share”

found family is NOT “this guy is so dad-coded and these guys are so sibling-like and—”

see. this is why I have… never really LOVED the term “found-family.”

there really is no name for that kind of bond

and I know we have limited terms that even come close, and I see why “family” is one of them

but I still feel like… calling it “family” because of how deep and intense it is… kinda devalues it in my mind

because it equates “deep intensity of feelings” with “biologically related”

and by the time traumatized people end up in that kind of bond with our not-biologically-related loved ones, we… often …really do NOT feel that association with the idea of blood relatives anyway?

it’s like growing up in a cultlike church that pounds it into your head that your church is THE absolute MOST important unit of society….

and then, even after you escape from that, and find friends who are supportive in a way that toxic church never was… you still have it so ingrained in your head, you can’t think of anything to call your friends except “my found church”