you ever post an ao3 fic and it’s getting a TON of views. Unusually huge number of people clicking onto it. More than most of your stuff

but hardly any other interactions. like, compared to your other works the ratio of views to kudos or bookmarks or comments is just ridiculous. and you don’t know what is different.

do people like the summary, but not like the fic? is the summary misleading? is the fic just worse than it looks from the summary?

or is it too weird and kinky, people like it but they’re ashamed to admit they do like it?

or do they like it so much they wanna not read it all yet, and save it for later? how much later? when will they finish it?

or did you just post it at a bad time for people to interact (but somehow also a good time for them to take a look at it)?

and then

then you think about going on someplace like Tumblr, and posting something like this post here

whining about your lack of kudos and stuff, asking the void why, why, why

but then you’re like… people might look at this post and then go interact with the story. And because of this post– if I do get any more attention on the story– I will now have NO WAY to know if it is GENUINE or just… pity

and then you don’t actually post it after all.

…or maybe you do. Because maybe you have become a yawning empty mouth, insatiably greedy for the merest sparks of acknowledgement, as many as remotely possible. perhaps your craving for some relatable instant of connection over this experience is too tempting now, in the utter loneliness and utter BOREDOM of the last 7 goddamn days you’ve spent in the prison of your weakened body and your covid plague ship of a room

or maybe it’s just me