little story about why i will never be good at lucid dreaming
- be me, in college, circa 2001
- talk to someone else who is taking a psychology course or something which is focused on dreams
- they tell me their class is having them keep a dream journal
- professor assured them that even if they don’t usually dream or remember their dreams, they can teach themselves to do so
- all they have to do is repeatedly tell themselves “tonight i will have a dream and i will remember it” and they will
- sounds fake but ok
- i am not taking a class that makes me keep a dream journal
- but i am an obsessive star trek TOS fan and my sex drive is disturbingly hyperfocused on spock
- want to have sex with spock SO BAD.
- dream about him all the time but my brain is a tease, never gets all the way and the dreams just leave me frustrated
- so i think this new technique might be worth a try
- start repeating to myself “tonight I will have a dream about having sex with spock and i will remember it.”
- that night i dream
- TECHNICALLY about having sex with spock
- but not about me doing it.
- i am already deep in fandom, writing fanfic about this man on the regular
- so this is not the first time i dreamed about his gorgeous ass getting laid by someone else
- but this is the first time it was Mulder from the X Files
- wtf. I HAVE NEVER EVEN WATCHED THE X FILES
- and in this dream, i did not even get to watch it happen?
- just heard about it, second or third hand
- I Am Frustrated. Again.
- trying to complain to the manager of my subconscious
- whining to every humanoid projection in my brain that’ll listen
- until one of them turns to me and says
- “but… you ARE Mulder.”
- i wake up
- …fml
conclusion: my brain hates me and also follows Fae Rules. this explains more about my life than I want to think about.