apas-95:

when usamericans say they’re from the midwest they exclusively mean they’re from the central-eastern side of their country. yet another lie from their forkéd tongues

i WISH i had a forkéd tongue but unfortunately i spawned in minnesota where snakes cannot exist

#ok that was another lie. there are a few snakes. i dont know how they survive the winter there but they somehow do

#the only venomous ones are right on the very edge where it shades into the dakotas though

#we do have great apples in the twin cities tho

#we invented the honeycrisp and it still tastes best when grown in minnesota

#come get the apples. trust my forky snake tongue