(amazingly this has nothing to do with that humanpetguy post I just replied to)
one of my favorite fetish worldbuilding tropes, because of how fucking dumb and unreasonable it is, is the Federal Department of Kinky Shit.
It’s the very specific thing that happens where it turns out in your setting, there’s a Government Agency that does Kinky Shit.
Like you gotta go to the Big Testing Center when you turn 21 to find out if you’re gonna be turned into a ponygirl, by the USDHA: The United States Department of Human Agriculture.
or maybe you get a letter in the mail, and oh no! your number has come up in the Slut Lottery. What’s that mean? Why is there a slut lottery? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, IT’S JUST HOW IT IS! GET TO SLUTTIN’
It kinda makes me want to write one of these stories just so I can try to write a backstory that explains WHY IN THE FUCK their world is like this and no one seems to complain.
It’s basically the same trope as “medieval village sacrifices a maiden every year to The Dragon” but modernized.
Now there’s a Government Agency in charge of Feeding Virgins To Winged Reptiles, and everyone is just fine with that. Apparently the supreme court said it was okay, or we had a constitutional amendment to give the government the power to turn young adults into meals for wyverns. How did that get ratified, anyway? You seriously got 38 states to vote in favor of taking citizens and feeding them to a monster?This would almost be a commentary on the heartlessness of the draft except they’re clearly way too horny about it. It’s like instead of saying “the draft is like a monster that eats our children and we just smile and wave the flag”, they’re saying “the draft is a monster that eats our children and I’m masturbating to it”
the moment i knew i needed to stop my experiment of writing porn on my phone was when i made up a fake supreme court case to justify something for the kink
Yeah I have that problem too! I can’t write porn that well because half the time I end up tangenting off to questions like “what’s the economic system of the galaxy such that paying lizards to kidnap all humans to the moon makes sense?” and paying more attention to that than anything remotely sexy.
But I mean, I’m an asexual with ADHD. It’s to be expected.
This is where a high fantasy setting is an absolute gift.
“Oh no! I’ve found the cursed Ring of Sluttiness! We need to organise a party orgy really quickly or I’ll die!”
“What the fuck. Who would create a magical artifact like that?”
“Have you really never heard the legends of the dark sorceror Xantharos the Peverted?”
“Nope. But think I know how they got that nickname.”
“I’ll tell you all about them later. Right now, get your trousers off.”
backstory like this makes the porn MORE HOT for me
because it feels more like it is within a complete world and thus feels More Real
…please create a government bureau of Making Up Backstories For Every Porn please to legitimize my kink?