homunculus-argument:
Your legally married spouse is the one person in the world that you get to choose, who doesn’t have to witness against you in court. So if you’re thinking of marrying someone, consider these two questions:
Do I trust that this person would 100% help me hide a body, no questions asked?
Do I trust this person enough that if they asked for my help to hide a body, I wouldn’t hesitate?
If you live in Arkansas, you get as many accomplices as you want who can’t testify against you in court…. as long as they’re atheists.

Laws denying rights based on atheism are (mostly) not enforceable in the USA (for now)… the nationwide right to freedom of religion is pretty much interpreted to mean freedom from religion as well. Not totally convinced the Supreme Court is gonna keep it that way, but that’s how it is at the moment: the law is technically on the books but not enforced.

But just imagine if it was. In terms of rock solid accomplices, it would be better than marriage.

A spouse, after all, only can’t be forced to testify against you (not sure how forcing someone to testify even works anyway, since you can “force” someone to talk only to the degree that they’re susceptible to threats, torture or bribes, and 5th amendment rights limit how much of that you can do, but whatever). Your atheist accomplices, on the other hand, can’t testify even if they changed their minds and wanted to!

If the laws were enforced anyway. Too bad (for criminals) they aren’t.