Level 3: Porn with troubling philosophical implications
Level 4: Porn with maddening revelations of humanity’s place in the cosmos
Level 5: Porn with math
horny actuary nerds assemble
#5 is a place my mind actually went, in response to the fic that got me into TRON (Kesomon’s “Overcharged”)
it’s actually a very logical extrapolation:
canon says “ram is an actuary program who was forced to fight as a gladiator”
overcharged says “therefore he’s got some features irrelevant to his current job and they’re going unused… therefore he’s built some pent-up energy for them that he needs to release… let’s have him get circuit-stimulated to the point of overload about it”
my brain then went “ok but since his unused features are actuarial… how bout if we let him get all overcharged and then make him do our taxes and insurance til he gets off on it”
(the whole time ram is just sitting there like. “um. well. however i can help, i guess?”)
(he really is the best lil guy ever)
DAMMIT
an ENTIRE STORY has just been forming in my head for this
an EPIC porn-with-math smut-fest.
and I CANNOT write it, because I barely passed the 1 finance course I ever took.
but
here it is.
Kevin Flynn, after the events of TRON 1982, having taken over Encom, wants to restructure it to be more ethical.
But for someone like Flynn (genius, but also equal parts criminal and insane and slut)…. this is a difficult proposition at best.
As he sees it, logic dictates that a corporation that offers insurance benefits will struggle with being ethical. Because actually giving sufficient healthcare to all employees will cut into the company’s profits.
And this is worsened by the additional problem that a company with shareholders can’t stay ethical… because shareholders only stay if their investment increases in value….. so it’s required to keep growing forever– to the point of doing anything, screwing over anyone, in the name of increased profit.
Flynn does not like this.
So Flynn decides that he’s going to introduce the most generous insurance benefits department Encom’s ever had, and pay for it out of company profits– and then also go private, getting rid of the shareholders.
And he’s gonna make friends with like a hundred of the lowest-rank Encom employees who are struggling the most– and he’s gonna figure out how to make this transition as beneficial as possible to every one of them.
And he knows who can help with this.
He rerezzes …both of them.
Both his favorite “Accounting Cream Puffs.”
Ram the actuarial insurance program, and Crom the compound interest program.
And because he is equal parts genius and insane and criminal and slut--
— he hits on what he thinks is the absolute best way to make it up to them both for what he put them through in 82 –
—and it’s a depraved financial sex orgy.
He gets them both overcharged to desperation… and then edges the hell out of them… as he makes them slowly, slowly discharge their pent-up financial calculation energy
in the process of drafting the ideal plan
to wring as much money outta the current insurance department and shareholders as possible, and into the pockets of the desperate poor at the bottom– before Flynn restructures the whole thing.
And
after the most intense overload of their whole lives…
barely rerezzed from hours of dissociation into energy clouds of afterglow…
Ram finally stops panting long enough to say “isn’t this insurance fraud?”
And Crom, in unison goes “isn’t this insider trading?”
And Flynn gives the most irresistible criminal Flynn smile and goes “You can’t steal something that’s designed to be free.”
OH FUCK my brain just did another connection/pun.
“Overcharged” is the opposite of what he was probably having Ram do on the insurance) at least…. he wouldn’t have them overcharge the patient. He might have them overcharge the insurance company WHY IS THIS IDEA HAPPENING TO ME i have TOO MANY IDEAS ALREADY
