Pattern Recognizer: “hey you know why you don’t pour water on a grease fire?”

Me: “…because I like being alive?”

Pattern Recognizer: “because that level of heat causes oil and water to interact in ways they couldn’t otherwise”

Me: “yeah, ways that kill me”

Pattern Recognizer: “it’s an emulsi-FIRE”

Me: “maybe I will go pour water on a grease fire now”