i really want people to stop writing scientists as awkward, stilted conversationalists who don’t understand idioms or emotions and start writing them as depressed alcoholics who swear like sailors unless they’re in a specifically academic situation
Seriously the number of academics I have seen who look like gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe but who can scrape themselves into a vaguely human position if you tell them there’s grant money on the line is much higher than you would think
honest to gd everyone in my field is an alcoholic, a stoner, or on shrooms
the very few sober people are the designated drivers
The designated drivers are fully unhinged and will bite if provoked
this is why I can never be a true scientist
because I neither drink nor drive
(I can probably be unhinged and bite, though. Maybe I can even unhinge my jaw to do it? Idk. Testing that out would be science and I can’t be a scientist)