so I’m on very good terms with my ex-spouse. honestly we still love each other very much, it’s a different kind of love now and I’m not sure what to call it because we’ve got far too much history for it to be fully covered by “friends” or “friends with benefits” so I mostly just don’t try to put a word to it. but it’s definitely love

but yesterday we were reminiscing together about the past and I said something like “i don’t regret any of it”

and then I thought for a moment

and then I rambled off on a tangent that went something like: “i mean… I don’t even really get the concept of regrets? because it would mean you wish something hadn’t happened. and that means you’d choose to change the past if you could. and apart from the fact that the whole idea of changing the past is time-paradox nonsense if you try to think about it for more than a second– apart from that, even if i could, that’d be basically suicide, right? erasing the version of me that i am now. and everyone else who’s significantly affected by whatever i’m changing. and I pretty much don’t ever want to kill myself or anyone else? so I guess that’s why I mostly don’t have regrets”

and my ex laughed and went “wow. in another universe you’re a philosophy professor”

and i was like “hah. in a universe where philosophy professor is even a viable career at all” but now i kinda wonder what that version of me would be like. and what would’ve had to change in the past for that version of me to exist

still don’t think i regret it though