Yet another friendly reminder:

Beauty is not a trait that a thing or person can have. Beauty is a response that someone has to that thing or person.

Ugliness is not a trait that a thing or person can have. Ugliness is a response that someone has to that thing or person.

Disgust and Cringe are not traits that a thing or person can have. Disgust and Cringe are responses that someone has to that thing or person.

Yes, there are certain kinds of traits that have an especially high or low likelihood of getting these responses from others.

But these are just likelihoods, tendencies. And they can vary a whole lot, with differences in culture between different places and times.

Insults like “you are gross and cringe and ugly” mean nothing more than “someone has that reaction to you.” This is not important unless that person’s reaction is important to you.

Affirmations like “you are beautiful, you are not gross or cringe” also mean nothing more than “someone has that reaction to you.” This is also not important unless that person’s reaction is important to you.

These responses are culturally influenced, but they’re still deep. People can’t easily change the beauty or disgust or cringe reactions they have to others.

But people can work to change their behavior and treat others decently, regardless of which of these responses they feel.

It is a problem that some people are only kind to those they find beautiful.

It is a problem that some people are cruel to those they find disgusting or cringey.

The solution is not to try and force a change in the responses that cause people to find something disgusting or cringe or beautiful.

The solution is to remind people that these responses are not relevant to how they should treat anyone.

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