I just had the experience of a coworker finding out my age and doing the whole “OMG how do you look so YOUNG?” thing they always do

and as usual I just kind of babbled, while my ideal conversation was playing out in my secret imagination

it goes:

“how do you look so YOUNG?”

“want the short version or the true version?”

“true, of course…?”

“humans can’t actually gauge each other’s ages with any accuracy within the range you think you can. Between 20-somethings and 40-somethings (the groups you’ve mixed up when guessing my age), appearances vary a lot more on the individual level than between specific age brackets. Any innate ability you might have had at telling a 20-year-old-from a 40-year-old has been wiped out by Hollywood, where actors age themselves through heavy smoking, undo that with plastic surgery, and then play whatever role will pay them the most money, no matter how far it is from either their actual or apparent age.”

“…okay… what was the short version?”

“autistics don’t age, because we don’t have facial expressions.”