Pronouns suck!

Using a pronoun in any language sabotages comprehension of the sentence. There. That last sentence had 4 nouns that could each be referred to as “it.” If I follow that sentence up with another sentence mentioning “it,” how the fuck are you gonna know what thing I’m even talking about? Just say the fucking noun, dammit!

In fact, the first and second person pronouns I used in that last paragraph are also bullshit. Who the fuck is “I”? How the fuck are you even supposed to know whether to give a shit about anything in this post, if I’m calling myself some cryptic fucking letter like a fucking Bond codename. Who even fucking wrote this post, as far as you know? Jesus fuck. Tumblr user Astercontrol is fixing this problem right now.

And for that matter, why the fuck would “”“you”“” even wanna try to decide whether you give a shit about what Tumblr User Astercontrol wrote in this post, if Tumblr User Astercontrol isn’t even specifying who the fuck Tumblr User Astercontrol thinks is reading this post?

Astercontrol is so fucking sorry, Mutuals And Strangers Who Probably Have A Sense Of Humor And Perception Of Sarcasm. Astercontrol will try to do better at not using any fucking pronouns ever.

(Especially those fucking invasive third-person pronouns that for some reason think someone’s fucking GENDER is relevant to absolutely every goddamn sentence. Don’t even get Aster fucking started on those.)