thegenderal:
[ID: a post on r/AskReddit by u/Tjamuil titled,
You are dead. How can you make your funeral as unpleasant and embarrassing as possible for everyone else through your will?
/end ID]
[ID: a comment by @/Blind_Melone saying,
Roll me down a hill in a giant hamster ball through a hilly obstacle course. There will be a series of holes dug at the bottom of the hill. My family will bet on which hole I land in. The winners split the inheritance. I am buried in the same hole I landed in.
EDIT: Yes, I’ve had this idea in my head for years and years. I like the mental image of my lifeless body slamming around in the hamster ball.
/end ID]

WTF lmao

…ok but.

I would spend my last few months seducing multiple strangers– having several messy, torrid overlapping flings, in which I give each one the false impression that I have considerable savings in the bank, and that I would consider leaving it to them if I die. The goal is maximum drama when they all show up at my funeral expecting money.

To achieve this perfectly soap-optimized balance, it is important to choose all partners and trysts wisely– exactly when things start and end with each one; which ones are aware of the others, and when they find out; which ones believe themselves to have been my main relationship and the others to be my side-pieces, etc. The exact sequence and timing are crucial to maximizing that final chaos.

This is, of course, what’s meant by “getting my affairs in order.”