Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the Princeton Review on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row. “More than any of its celestial neighbors, Earth is the place to let off some steam and get a little crazy with your friends every night of the week,” said associate editor Blake Kalfus, adding that the planet was the only known celestial body to possess sufficient oxygen for top EDM DJs like Afrojack and Steve Aoki to survive.
The only reason nobody comes here is our system only got 1 star on Interplanetary Yelp and our nearest neighbor got two
(the one reviewer actually visiting this sector thought the star rating was for the literal number of stars in the solar system. Just our luck our nearest neighbor is a fancy binary)