So when I see a take about how a disability is “no excuse” for not doing something, because “I (or other people I’m using as an example) have this same disability and CAN do the thing”

I feel like it needs to be split into a few different issues 

Because on the one hand, no two people have the EXACT same disability, every type of disability affects different people in different ways, and “telling disabled people what their own disability does and doesn’t stop them from doing” is something with a HUGE history of abuse

But– 

– and this is especially true with social disabilities, and the ways they can impair skills at showing basic kindness and respect to others–

-“What we are able to do” can often grow over time 

-A disability can slow or limit that growth, but very often we can still grow more than we thought we could 

-And, if others are being actively harmed by the fact that you can’t do something– or have given up on trying– or just haven’t gotten to the point of figuring out how yet–

-Then it is entirely reasonable for them to decide “yeah this is not a person we feel safe being around,” and remove themselves from your life for however long THEY want to.