I’m finally trying to watch Queer on an airplane but the WiFi died 15 min in so I asked my very straight and slightly airport-drunk partner to make up the rest of the story for me.
The details I gave him: it’s from the director of CMBYN and Daniel Craig is gay.
The plot he shat out (abridged): During an evening of penis-docking, everyone is drinking martinis and Daniel Craig discovers to his horror that he possesses “slick glands”. In order to help him transform his omega pheromones into alpha, a Margaret Thatcher robot appears and enlists the help of noted Twilight alpha Jacob, through a ritual that involves Edward being topped by Lestatt.
Guadagnino has NOTHING on this
oh dear lamb I mis-read this and thought OP asked THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO THEM ON THE AIRPLANE, the STRANGER sitting next to them, and this is what the stranger came up with.
I was so astonished by this that I re-read and caught my initial error and am now slightly embarrassed but also. Just imagine.
Oh god ME TOO. like, “partner” as in “randomly assigned seat partner.” That makes it 1000x more hilarious but also YES im embarrassed too, lmao