the pattern recognizer attempts explanation of why “don’t wear white after labor day” is a thing in fashion

- you should wear grease stained work clothes after labor day to show you are an actual laborer

- labor day is the start of the cold snowy season, which means the actual world is gonna start wearing white soon, you shouldn’t try and upstage her. (Also you’d be camouflaged in the snow and that makes you look dishonest and sneaky)

- september is among the most common human birth months, therefore labor day is a day for going into labor. If you’ve gone into labor that means you’ve been pregnant which means you aren’t a virgin which means you don’t get to wear white

…the pattern recognizer is not taking criticism thank you