weaver-z:

I heard this metaphor growing up, and in my case, it backfired supremely, because I went out into my neighbor’s backyard where a rose bush was growing, and the one I tested had like 30 petals (it was yellow, but definitely a rose of some kind), and as a very logical lass, I came to the conclusion that you could have premarital sex AT LEAST ten times before your future husband would even notice something was up. Moral of the story? Test your metaphors on the weirdest and most neurodivergent child you know before writing your weird religious propaganda.

Just imagining the neighbor watching this kid methodically and scientifically destroy one of their roses like:


“he loves me! he loves me! he loves me! he loves me! he loves me! he loves me! he loves me! he loves me! he loves me! he loves me! …Ok i guess now he loves me not. threshold located!”