asteroidtroglodyte:

Me: whatcha doin, bug?

My Son, applying approximately 2 dozen self-adhesive goggly eyes to himself: playing Santa

Me: Santa has lots of eyes?

My Son, very serious: he’s watching everyone

Me: biblically accurate Santa

whenever i think about the all-seeing, all-knowing, completely inescapable Big Brother of a God of a Santa that i grew up with… the Elf on the Shelf immediately looks about 60% less dystopian

because it represents the concept that santa’s surveillance has a physical form. one that is small, and within our comprehension, and only looking one direction at a time. And probably vulnerable to fire.