thememedaddy:

I keep saying this: In every misunderstanding, there are two types of theory-of-mind impairment that may be at play

one is a listener’s failure to pick up on clear cues in the speaker’s communication

and the other is a speaker’s unreasonable expectation for the listener to pick up on unclear cues

In any given miscommunication, it can be a matter of opinion which type was more at fault

And since non-autistics tend to claim authority on all social issues, the autist in the conversation is usually assumed to be the one failing at theory-of-mind

But I’ve always observed that the first type of miscommunication is more common among autists, but the second is much more common among neurotypicals, and is more often responsible for the problem than you’d think.

Even from a wholly objective viewpoint considering all possible ways someone could know something – neurotypicals frequently assume knowledge that another person has no possible way to know, which would be clear if they’d think about it for just a few seconds.

…nowhere is this more clear than in professional conversations, where everyone is using not only industry-specific terms but individual company-specific terms and expecting the other person (not in the same company or industry) to understand them.

(Usually they will take a moment to realize this and adapt, if you point it out? But sometimes they’ll just snap at you and get more impatient and act like you’re stupid. many allistics don’t like to think about other people’s viewpoints, even if that’s what they’re supposed to be good at.)