no no, i get it. i can see why you’re confused- I want the CANON to be completely platonic, fucked-up exploration of intimacy that transcends human sexuality but never includes human sexuality.
I want to be the pervert that makes them fuck.

as someone who has almost never seen any canon romantic relationship in any popular fictional property be handled with anything but the most trite and uninspired tropes

yes i want to be the perv that makes them fuck. and kiss and marry and whatever else

the property owners do NOT HAVE THE TALENT to be trusted with that. pretty much ever.

January 7th, 2026 2:59am maybe i just have weird almost-aroace standards or maybe i just want all the different possible ways for them to get together to be canon-compatible instead of having to be divergent AUs from the sad bland main storyline but yeah it's so much better when relationships are not canon this goes for straight and gay and everything the movie industry does not have a good idea how romance works to put it lightly to put it heavily the movie industry has done untold damage to how romance works in the real world reblogster nsfw text nsft fanfic