ALT

for me I don’t think it’s either self-inserting or just watching… it’s a mix of both. At least when it’s a story that lets you inside the head of at least one of the characters

It’s watching, but from inside. Vicariously experiencing feelings, but still very aware that they aren’t mine. And aware that the character feeling them is, in most cases, not much like me at all. But still interested in how they feel. In a voyeuristic way, yeah

It’s like what the Talosians did in Star Trek TOS (The Cage/The Menagerie). having lost the ability to have their own feelings and experiences to enjoy, they captured other species and telepathically put them in simulations and felt their feelings, like emotional parasites. That’s the closest thing I can think of.

Which is why it’s so hard to explain the type of sexual /romantic attraction I feel, when it’s so focused on fictional characters. Like i can show you a fanfic love scene with Kirk and Spock, or Tron and Ram, and you’re like… so that’s what turns you on, huh. So that’s the kind of guys you want to be with?

And I’ll be like… well, not exactly? I don’t wanna be with any of them myself, I just like reading their viewpoints in this scene with each other.

And then you’re like: so, you want to be a guy like them, doing what they’re doing in that scene?

And I’m like… well, a little closer, but no, not quite that either. if I try to imagine actually being in that situation, it still doesn’t interest me nearly as much as just experiencing it through fiction.

And you’re like, so what do you actually want in real life then?

And I’m like…. hell if i know. Maybe nothing, maybe a little of everything, maybe it depends 100% on my mood in the moment, maybe never the same thing twice.

Which is why it’s good that there are so many different books.