me to my husband: ao3 is down again [explains outage]
my husband: someone should write a spicy fic about the two database engineers locked in the server room trying to fix it
my husband, smug: there was only one spreadsheet 😎
Oh do not give me more goddamn inspiration
…in my case it would of course be fic about personified software
I already have headcanons about the programs in AO3’s backend
(namely. the backends of both AO3 and Tumblr are absolutely wild depraved constant circuit-sex orgies. However, the wild sex between programs in AO3 is an intrinsic part of their function and how they transmit the data necessary to do their job.
Whereas Tumblr programs are having orgies even though their Users have specifically told them NOT to have orgies, cause their Users haven’t actually told them what they are supposed to be doing… so they’ve just been guessing randomly, and at this point they’re doing orgies because basically everything else has failed)
RPF (Real Program Fic) headcanon about the latest ao3 outage:
a program who’s shaken to her core after that last Tumblr outage makes a dangerous trip to AO3 to beg for their advice (since they clearly have stuff better under control than tumblr)
some kindhearted AO3 programs take pity on her and try to teach her the right way to have an orgy
they all catch a fucking vicious Tumblr sexually-transmitted computer virus that spreads like fucking wildfire through the whole site (all tumblr programs have it, those that can’t survive it just all died. no one in an actual competently-run system is prepared to deal with anything like that)
but luckily, they have Users who actually know what they’re doing, so despite the shock to their system they figure it out quick, and it’s treated and everyone’s back to work and health within a few days
tumblr program goes back home with stories of a better world, hoping to inspire change. tumblr just blames her for the ao3 outage and she’s bullied off the site
:(