Anonymous: <p>I've yet to see "you don't have a theory of mind" used as anything other than a justification for someone projecting their assumptions onto others. Like, of course people are unique entities with their own thoughts and feelings! That is the most rational observation of existence possible! Therefore, if I am to presume to know what anyone is thinking, they must communicate those things! To assume that my guesses are true, and actually more important than what that person really is thinking, is horrifying and rude! And then people go on about "well if you were normal you'd understand that you CAN presume these things and actually that's good to do, now stop being mean I know what you're thinking".<br>Of course, no professional or family member is perfect. But it seems to me like a good, mental-health-industry-compatible way to justify going on a power trip.</p>

There’s truth in this.

however, no matter how clearly people communicate, there is still going to be theory of mind involved in interpreting what they say

Just about every word has slightly different meanings to all the people who use it… and if you ask a person to explain what a word means to them, then you have to contend with how every word in the definition they give you will also have its own unique meanings to them

so in the end, we’re all kinda hugely complex walled-in gardens that can never fully see each other’s complexity

… only pass each other cryptic little notes through the cracks between, and hope our theory of mind can guess mostly right about what the notes mean

in fact, some of what you just wrote seems to be your mind theorizing what is going on in the minds of people using this as a “justification”

and I believe you are theorizing correctly!

but it is still theorizing, not knowing.

(And even if you asked them and they told you exactly that, you’re still theorizing, assuming, that they were telling the truth and that you are understanding their communications in the way they intended)

anyway

if this was a response to my earlier post where I was complaining about most people having terrible theory of mind…

well, you’ll note that my complaints within that post were almost entirely about people jumping to irrational conclusions about what other people are thinking

which… seems to be the same thing your complaints are about?

and yet, I was making a complaint that you believe is only ever used to justify unreasonable assumptions?

so… i dunno. i admit I am quite not sure what you’re saying.

but then, that’s kind of the essence of both our points i suppose. no one can ever know, really