ALTI feel so bad for the annoying women at work. Like I actually feel sick when we’re interacting and I feel the annoyance occurring in my brain like she really doesn’t mean to be this way and she just doesn’t want to feel alone or rejected. you can tell she’s experienced being an outsider everywhere she goes it’s only a matter of time. And it’s not cool chic or edgy but in the ugliest most desperate and dehumanizing way. They always start hopeful. they want to connect and they go searching for someone receptive to her so she can find her people but everyone turns away from her slowly and u hear it in her voice. It’s happening again. she starts hesitating to speak and when she does you hear a shaky child ending every sentence like it’s a question. Testing the waters to know if she’s wrong for even trying. And then I realize I took her smile for granted now that it’s gone.. I have to make it up to her I can’t let something like this continue. Life is so hard for people everywhere, so building a tolerance for being irritated is nothing in comparison especially if the reward is less pain and loneliness in the world I will always be the bestie you have my word
People who flinch at this or jump to hating on OP have never been completely honest with themselves and it shows. Like, you know this person. You’ve met this person. The under socialized outcast who everyone thinks is kinda annoying and weird, including you. People think that acknowledging their own annoyance towards someone who’s essentially harmless is the same as killing someone and being ontologically bad. Like, as long as you don’t shun that person you’re good. Actually, that’s exactly what OP is fucking talking about. They acknowledge and see that this woman is the way she is and also express sympathy, but because there’s no over the top performative moralizing everyone thinks it’s mean when it’s just a true assessment of the situation. Like, two things can be true at once—yes, this person is annoying and they make me cringe and yes, I’m not gonna be an asshole about it because I know that’s not right. I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason everyone got so fired up about this is because they’re scared that they might’ve been the annoying coworker in someone else’s story. And guess what you probably were. Yeah. Sit with that. Did you die? Did the discomfort kill you?
The hysterics was giving 2015 tumblr fr. We’ve all been that hoe nobody likes before
Old men who will launch into stories even when no one asked, neuroatypical people who struggle with their social graces and so have to feel around blindly by sharing strange topics or overstating things that are obvious to you and not to them, people who have only really spent time around friends and family and are thus too friendly to you. These people aren’t trying to bug you, they are trying to bond with you in the ways they know how. They should be rewarded for the bravery of reaching out and I am sorry for every time I didn’t treat them in earnestness and good faith
I’ve very much been on both sides of this, and I’ve thought a lot and written about it
And it is a very very tragic experience that I have no idea how to fix
Because the only possible fixes that come to mind are:
shun the person (cruel)
welcome the person and change your own feelings, making yourself genuinely not be annoyed through force of will (impossible)
welcome the person, and pretend not to be annoyed (can’t sustain indefinitely; will likely still come across as insincere)
teach the person to stop acting in ways that are annoying to you/your friends (traumatic for everyone; also unlikely to succeed)
help the person find others who will genuinely enjoy spending time with them as they are (great if you can, but high chance you don’t know any such people, or can’t accurately gauge who they are)
…as far as I can tell, this is another Anti-Flynn situation
(no solutions only problems)
ALT
ALT