things that can kill you:
- the night before your birthday
- late summer evenings
- the way the sunlight hits the kitchen a certain way on a summer afternoon
- Me
one of my favorite ways this can happen is, “you got a cool decorative/mystical glass orb as a one-day-early birthday present, and while decorating for your party you set it up in the kitchen, where it caught the afternoon sunlight in a way that set your kitchen on fire and then your whole house on fire resulting in your horrible burning death on a late summer evening the night before your birthday”