“Usually I can make any new word or phrase into a pun as soon as I learn it. My brain’s great at noticing when a word is similar to another! ”

“Yeah I’ve, uh, definitely noticed that about you…”

“But lately… just lately it’s been taking me a long time to notice possible puns. Even though I’m being exposed to new slang constantly.”

“So, you’re getting slower in your old age, huh.”

“No! it’s just… well, I often need to hear a word to realize how similar it is to another word. Especally if the similarity is more in sound than spelling. There have been lots of those lately. And I end up reading them a lot of times before I ever hear them.”

“Ahh. So, you’ve gotten slow at puns because you no longer go out and have conversations with actual humans, with your voice and your ears. You’re depriving yourself of the vocal and auditory aspects of all these potentially punnable words– because you’re getting your new vocabulary from just doomscrolling social media on your phone.”

“Hey.”

“No, you’re brave for admitting it! Even though it is a brutal self-own.”

“hmph.”

“…a brutal self-own by your brutal cellphone.”

“DAMMIT”