a word to everyone, but especially all the worst coworkers I’ve ever had:

if you find yourself thinking, “why won’t they tell me what I’m doing wrong?” or “why would they talk behind my back instead of to my face?” or “I had no idea anyone had a problem with that, nobody ever complained to me about it!”

…then please consider for a moment

how do you act when people do tell you what you’re doing wrong and complain to your face?

do you give them any reason to believe this is capable of being a productive type of interaction, ever, in any possible circumstances?

has confronting you about a problem with your behavior ever, in all of history, resulted in you changing anything for the better? has it ever not resulted in retaliation, or irreparable damage to your relationship with the person asking?

…and then, please, reexamine other people’s behavior in the context of any new insights that may have occurred to you.

thank you.