honestly it’s kind of upsetting how much of the autism experience is just being shamed out expressing yourself in any way that’s normal for you and learning to keep everything to yourself so you’re not shamed for being weird and then being shamed for being so quiet because it’s also weird to be quiet but if you tell this to anyone else they’ll say “why do you care so much what people think” and that’s when the ancient ape part of your brain gets ready to beat them to death
“why do you let everyone walk all over you and tolerate so much shit from other people and never stand up for yourself”
well I learned very VERY early in life that
- there is a nebulous line between “standing up for yourself” and “being an abusive asshole to other people”
- and there are absolutely no neurotypicals who can agree on where that line is
- so if your behavior is anywhere near the area that line could be in, you will get accusations of both being a wimpy pushover and being an asshole
- ….and, since the latter accusations are universally worse for your survival in a social world, it is just safest, in general, to stay as far on the “wimpy pushover” side as humanly possible
- unless you have a robust system of supportive friends who will stand up for you with all their might if you get unjustly called an asshole
- but in my experience, this support system is not something you can get if you run any risks of being seen as an asshole.
-(i mean… Ok, there are assholes with supportive friend networks. But they don’t seem to get there by doing anything I would be ethically okay with.)