updating my list of theories about unicorns and what they’re sexually attracted to

1. they’re into virgins (classic lore)

2. they’re into established couples who are seeking a third (slang meaning of “unicorn”)

3. they’re monogamous (uni-corn: “horny for only one”)

4. They’re asexual because they’re geldings (eunuch-corn)

5. They’re into Tron circuit sex, specifically oral circuit-licking

(why the hell are they into Tron circuit licking, Aster)

(well. They’ve got one horn)

(yeah?)

(and one eye)

(what)

(and they like eating purple people)

(OH FUCK YOU)