updating my list of theories about unicorns and what they’re sexually attracted to
1. they’re into virgins (classic lore)
2. they’re into established couples who are seeking a third (slang meaning of “unicorn”)
3. they’re monogamous (uni-corn: “horny for only one”)
4. They’re asexual because they’re geldings (eunuch-corn)
5. They’re into Tron circuit sex, specifically oral circuit-licking
(why the hell are they into Tron circuit licking, Aster)
(well. They’ve got one horn)
(yeah?)
(and one eye)
(what)
(and they like eating purple people)
(OH FUCK YOU)