“contracted” is such a weird word for an illness or infection. I “contracted” a guy to fix my furnace. Because he’s a contractor, and there was a contract. If I “contracted” food poisoning, it was a contract with the fucking fairies or something, written in “teehee you ate the food no one told you the consequences of eating”

(no i still don’t know what food gave my extremely careful ass a hard time over the last week, but my ass is getting even MORE careful now)