there seems to be some growing awareness of realities like, “social connection is never gonna consist 100% of things that are easy and fun for you,” and “to maintain relationships with others, you sometimes have to put up with things you aren’t actively enthusiastic about”

(in regard to, like. seeing a movie with someone as a social activity, or listening to infodumps about their obsession because you care about them being happy, even if you can’t manage to feel anywhere near that level of interest in it)

But.

this needs to be accompanied by a growth in understanding of these same realities from the other side.

Which means: if you’re gonna say that your friendship requires your friend to sit through movies you like, and not complain about them? then you cannot also interpret this same action as a “dishonest claim that they share your level of interest,” and then act betrayed if you find out later that they aren’t as into that movie as you are.

if they say they don’t love a thing you love, you cannot take this as a cue to try and talk them into loving it… and refuse to stop arguing until they give up in exhaustion and say something good about it… and then assume this means that they’re now as obsessed as you are… and get angry if you later find out otherwise.

Either you don’t have enough interests in common to make a real connection, or you need to focus more on the ones you have in common.

You can’t have it both ways.

(And no, your loved ones cannot force themselves by sheer will to love all the same things you do, even if they wanted to. That’s not how emotions work.)